Ask a Doxie
In case you are questioning our motives to odd behavior, let us say this to help you along in your thinking.
Check out these FAQ's.
E.S.P Eagerly Seeking Pizza
Q: I believe my Wiener dogs have ESP. One day I decided to eat my pizza in front of the T.V. --My doctor warned me NOT to eat pizza because of my digestive upsets. They quickly rushed to my side. All of the sudden I could hear grumbling-growl coughing sounds as if to try and warn me about the harsh choice of food. The dogs started to grumble among each other. Howl barkings and scratching on the side of the couch. They were prancing around like rain dancers. Forgetting my napkin, I quickly ran to the sink and upon my return, the pizza was gone. I was devastated, but honored at the same time. Could my dogs exhibit that Extra-sensory perception of warning me about my digestive health?
A: This belongs in the #LOL category. If you leave your plate in a place where we can reach it, you deserve to mourn the loss of your food product. Some of us are very good climbers. The joke is on you for underestimating the lack of lengthy legs.
~If it is EDIBLE, a dachshund will eat it~
~If it is NOT EDIBLE, a dachshund will eat it~
~If it is EDIBLE, a dachshund will pursue it at any cost~
~If it can be carried in the mouth, it can be hoarded~
~If you are missing it, it was hoarded or eaten~
Carpet Is Just Fine, Thank You!
Q: It was a little chilly and there was a storm coming later in the day, so I allowed my doxies to run and play outside longer than I usually do. I could see them running after birds, bugs and such. They were having a great time barking at passers-by through the fence. As I noticed the first drop of rain, I quickly let them in ONLY to be shocked at them commencing to pee on my kitchen rugs. Where did I go wrong?
A: You didn't mention the grass height. We will not venture into grass to pee when the blades tickle our tummy. Although we will dash after flying insects, birds and lizzards, we will only pee when we are convinced the spot will provide relaxation. As far as seasonal hinderances are concerned, here is where your thinking needs to line up.
~During COLD & RAINY seasons, a dachshund will not potty on the grass out of RESPECT for Mother Nature~
~During HOT & DRY seasons, a dachshund will not potty on the grass out of RESPECT for Mother Nature~
~If the grass is wet, you may pee on it out of respect for us!~
~If you do not want us to pee on your rugs, please put a towel down. They are just as soft ~
Sharing Is Caring
Q: I am beginning to think my Weener Dogs are taking over my house. They used to have manners, back when they couldn't walk and their eyes and ears were not open yet. I always gave them the best that money could buy. I bought a crate with the plushest mat. Set it up in the corner of the room. They slept in it the first few nights, but I thought I heard a grumble sound as they got in it, maybe it was thunder. One night they got up on my bed and under the covers. When I tried to move the four lumps, they growled as if I was the enemy. They just sleep there now. Same with the couch. All of them remain firmly planted and WILL NOT BUDGE when I call them down. I sit on the floor. They stare at me when I eat. I have to give them my dinner just so their beady little eyes quit piercing me. Also, they walk around with their bowls in their mouth. I have learned to just fill the bowl with my dinner first just to stop the hearty barking. I get what is left-over. Then they come after mine. HELP!!! What am I doing wrong. Do I need to buy higher quality stuff?
A: So you are a slow learner. However, because you are asking for help, you are hitting the COLD HARD REALITY. Your things DO NOT belong to you. You gave up the right to your things the minute the first short leg touched your property. Face the reality and know our mantra.
Rule #AFTER NEXT
~If I can see it, it's mine.~
~If I can smell it, it's mine.~
~If I can hear it, it's mine.~
~If I can feel it, it's mine.~
~If I can taste it, it's definitely mine!~ ~If it looks like mine, it's mine.~
~If I can chew it into many pieces, eaten or not, it's mine. (Please don't interrupt a chewing session. That's just plain rude).~
~If I can lay on it, it's mine.~
~If I can sleep on it, it's mine.~
~If you are thinking about it, it's already mine.~